The fallen self

I've been fallen always.
He will always be there to hold onto me, so, I won't fallen deeper in the pit of darkness.



I'm lucky to be able to meet up with someone that makes me realize of what my real dream are. The real dream that doesn't include the story of marriage. Instead, the humanity, the loves of helping those in needs.

My role model are Srikandi Islam Rabi'atul Adawiyah and Saidatina Khadijah(the wife of Prophet Muhammad saw).

I wish I will be someone who only chase for His Love and Bless.
No matter where I'll be ended, I won't care as long as His Love and Blessing always being granted upon me.

He's always there whenever I had fallen, even becoming weak. He gives me strength where I can only gain it from Him.

Do pray that I will always choose Him over you all.


Indeed, I'm always feel that I didn't deserve His helps whenever I had fallen. The tears of regret.
Being forgetful.

The test nor challenge that came upon me really hard. Alhamdulillah, I've been reminded about Him.

When you didn't get the things you need or even wish from the mankind. He will gave you the feelings that tremendously make you feel that this whole world really being created for you.

It's totally amazing.

My senior once said that, the chance to be able to meets Him in the Hereafter will be the absolute Happiness of all things.

To be able to feel His present near with me, honestly something that I hope it will remain there and never leave me.

There's two things I'm afraid the most when I'm being a God-conscious person: (1) Die without His Blessing being granted to me (2) Losing His Help nor Love towards me.
It is rather the scary things out of others.

I've been hurting a lot before, which causes me learned to find the right way to soothe those pains that I'm unable to express it.
Hurting deep inside of me really suffocates me. I can't breathe well. The thought of killing oneself is always pops out. The thought of wanting to run away. The wishing of wanting to start a new book of life rather than another chapter of life.